Tess Noncoiré, bestselling fantasy author and warrior of the Celestial Blade, wants nothing more than a couple weeks of solitude to finish the book that was due... yesterday. Mom has removed herself to sunny Florida to visit relatives leaving Tess alone. A winter storm isolates the writer in her rambling and creaking colonial era home.But Tess's life suddenly explodes. The universe dumps on her Garden gnomes with teeth, a naked girl appearing out of nowhere in an ice storm, and a widowed Wendigo haunts Tess.She suddenly has monsters and murders and a house full of people in her lap, including Mom's return with a shaping-changing demon for a new fiancé. Worst of all she has no idea how to handle, or separate the two rivals for her heart before they kill each other.What's an author to do when her life is more fantastic than her fiction?