The first musical memoir to chronicle the world of the final generation of American composers mentored by America's great 20th century masters. Hagen traces his transit from selfish young Midwestern musical prodigy from a gifted but troubled family to mid-career artist and family man in the tradition of composer-writers Hector Berlioz and Ned Rorem. Hagen's memoir braids together three narratives: the first consists of vivid sketches of his many colleagues, friends, and mentors-including Leonard Bernstein, David Del Tredici, David Diamond, JoAnn Falletta, Lukas Foss, Otto Luening, Gian Carlo Menotti, Paul Muldoon, Vincent Persichetti, Ned Rorem, Paul Sperry, Virgil Thomson, Michael Torke, Gore Vidal, and Stephen Wadsworth, among others. The second narrative tracks Hagen's career as the composer, conductor, stage director, and sometimes-librettist of thirteen successful operas, five symphonies, a dozen concertos, reams of chamber music, and over 350 art songs. The final, most personal narrative concerns his journey from euthanizing his terminally-ill mother at her request as a teenager to overcoming depression and alcoholism and finding fulfillment as a father and husband.